Of Red-Bearded Strays and Other Strange Beasts

Here's a picture of my "long-eared cats" done by my friend Nick using MS Paint. You know Nick, he's the one who ate the pig's face. He's been around my apartment a lot lately, ever since my friend Jesse discovered him curled up and sleeping on the sidewalk in front of my door at 4am, with no recollection of how he got there. Or so he claims. I think he just wanted ice cream and weed, or something.

So I says to him, Nick, I says, listen. You want to come over you don't have to do that whole "blackout" thing. Just call. But I guess he's shy.

Since then he has been discovered napping on various floor surfaces around my apartment: in my bedroom, the hallway, and in the kitchen next to the trashcan. I think I will buy him a basket.

Things Bunnies Like

Whoppers. But only the chocolate coating, so they will thoughtfully leave you all the little white malted cores.

Also, pistachios. But only because they make a fun sound when they are first piled onto a wood floor and then slid into over and over. Scatter-scatter-scatter. All fucking morning.