She starts her sentences with lol

My roommate is the stupidest person I have ever met, hands down.

She can't remember our address. She's lived here since July, but she still sends friends to our landlord's place next door. And she ordered a cab to two blocks away a few weeks ago.

It also took some effort to convince her that "dumpling" was, in fact, a real word and not "just something people say."

But the best might be the time I had a dinner party and lit some tea lights around the Bonzai tree that sits on my kitchen table. You know, ambiance.

The next day she asked me what the difference between Buddhism and "Judism" was, since they "both had trees."

Long, hilarious story short, it turns out that she thought that the candles and Bonzai were all part of a complex Judistic ritual.

You can't make this shit up.

Sensitivity

A Poem for Heath

your smile lit up a room and warmed my heart,
you always were so joyful,
why'd you die so young Heath,
while still so young and boyful?

By Helen, the smart roommate

Are you "jacked in"?

I guess I've always been a late developer. I'm only now getting my wisdom teeth in. And all my bras still have my name on them - in my mother's magic marker scrawl - from when I went to camp at age thirteen.

So it's typical of me to have, a decade or so later than the rest of my age cohort, just now started watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

And I love it. It's sort of feminist-ish, in that GRRRL POWER sort of way. It's actually pretty sexy, too. Like porn for the Seventeen generation. Who knew?

Actually, everyone who was hip to the WB did.

The part that I enjoy most, though, is its total 90sliciousness. The chunky heeled boots / short skirt combos, chenille tops in kool-aid colors, those tacky little plastic chokers and mini-backpacks, oh!... and all ordered straight out of dELiA*s catalog, of course.

It's enough to make me want to dig out my body glittler and scented nail polish.

Oh, the nineties. Oh, the innocence.

Buffy character: "If you're not jacked in, you're not alive."

He was talking about the internet!

(knowing laughter)

...

I feel old.