Superpowers

I'm supposed to be cramming for a midterm I have in a few hours, but instead all I can think about is how bad I want superpowers.

Nothing ridiculous like flying. I'm not stupid. I know that you need at least osteoporosis to do that.

Why can't I be consistently clever or fashionable - or, hell, appropriate? I want to appear comfortable at parties. Enchant people with my cryptic wit. Coolly separate sex from emotion. Enjoy effortless hand-eye coordination...

I can't even swim the crawl stroke.

Is smoking pot a superpower? Hamhandedness? Self-indulgent self pity??

I guess I can spell really well. Fuck.

It's a good thing nobody reads this.