I will have two daughters and I will name them Grace and Poise

I skate good.

Not sure if it's clear what's going on in this picture, but this is me clutching Helen for support while trying to lift my skate as high as I possibly could.

I wanted to take a pretty ice princess picture.

The sad thing is, at the time it felt like I was in fact lifting my leg way high. I remember thinking "dude this picture is going to be siiick."

This is, of course, before I got to reenact that drowning polar bear scene in Planet Earth by falling through the ice into the gritty puddle of Parc LaFontaine.

When people ask about the bruises I think I'm going to tell them I play soccer. Yes. I am an athlete. That ought to cover it.

One day I will grow out of this awkward stage.

Helen sure hopes so.

"Fuck this shit."