I've been lurking on dating sites
just to, you know, prank them
whatever, so it's been three days
so far:
- lots of crazy-people profiles (see below for the bitchy ex-con)
- one awkward cup of coffee
- two friends of my ex-boyfriend who have asked me out
- a battery of men offering to wash my dishes in the nude because I requested it in my profile
_______________________________________
Profile excerpts from the promiss land:
Yes, i am a genius :)
I am : Desperate loser in my mid 30s on welfare and recently released from prison
Seeking: A fun and outgoing female for long term relationship. You need to be kind, pretty, smart, keen, astute, versatile, confident. Also, if you dont own a car and have a steady job, please move on to the next profile,dont have time for losers. Last but not least, you must be a good kisser.
If you are inhaling two packs of marlboros on a daily basis and call yourself a princess although you have grotesque teeth, also thinking you are very artistic due to the fact that your body is invaded with ugly dragon tattoos, i can help you. I'm no Dr Phil but i can certainly lead you to the promiss land. She who found me, never lost the way........
Yes, i am a genius :)
I am : Desperate loser in my mid 30s on welfare and recently released from prison
Seeking: A fun and outgoing female for long term relationship. You need to be kind, pretty, smart, keen, astute, versatile, confident. Also, if you dont own a car and have a steady job, please move on to the next profile,dont have time for losers. Last but not least, you must be a good kisser.
If you are inhaling two packs of marlboros on a daily basis and call yourself a princess although you have grotesque teeth, also thinking you are very artistic due to the fact that your body is invaded with ugly dragon tattoos, i can help you. I'm no Dr Phil but i can certainly lead you to the promiss land. She who found me, never lost the way........
...all night long, fiesta forever, all night long.... 
2 comments:
This was awesome. I want to hear more.
Also, dishes in the nude is clutch, but I think you need to up the ante. I just don't know how yet.
-sdree
P.S. - fiesta 4ever
Also, question - was it the cup of coffee that was awkward, or was it the person you shared it with?
If you're wondering how you could make a cup awkward, I would conjecture that washing it in the nude is a good start.
But really I was just being an ass.
Mission accomplished.
-sdree
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