The Backbone

I've been "freelance writing" lately, which pretty means writing bullshit articles for SEO.

Dream a dream.

While it's pretty mindless—all I do is write vaguely purchase-positive copy with X number of mentions for each keyword—I do relish having the authority to make ridiculous proclamations like this :

Perhaps only those familiar with home design truly appreciate the sink basin’s role in completing a bathroom. Basins create harmony. They tie the room together, synthesizing all the disparate elements of a bathroom—toilet, tub, tile—into a unified whole. The basin is the backbone of your bathroom.

It is? Sure! Why? Because I said so. Glorious.

Call me drunk with power, but for the moment anyway I'm plenty happy getting paid to write with conviction about stuff I care nothing about. At least it's something I can talk about at the dinner table.

Love is passe, beauty is overdone, and truth is for hacks. I write my poems to the gods of wall-mounted vanity units, semi-recessed sinks, and "adult" dating sites and I defy you to read them with dry eyes.